Of course, here is the best reason yet for Barry Penner to adopt the weed-watching bears: he already has a whole bunch of bears, why not add a few more? He’ll just keep them in this fenced off area that he calls The Environment.  Note: the area inside the fence is bigger than the area outside the fence. Much, much bigger.

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Why should Barry Penner adopt the 10 pot-protecting black bears? Because he’s already experienced in using wild animals to scare the crap out of people. Just look at their faces; you just know if you mess with The Environment, you are getting a hungry boa constrictor in your bed. And you’ll deserve it.

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Alright, so I said I’d be posting pictures of Barry Penner with terrifying animals, and I think we can all agree that animals don’t come any more terrifying than this. If Barry Penner can handle a t-shirt wearing 5’9″ bipedal moose with gigantic eyes that goes around promoting proper recycling habits, he can certainly handle ten black bears from the BC wilderness. Piece of cake. He won’t even have to call in his sidekick the Return-It Man to do the dirty work.

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But they also found about 10 bears that the owner appeared to be using to keep people from stealing any pot plants, said RCMP Sgt. Fred Mansveld.

“[Officers] soon noticed the bears were docile and tame,” Mansveld told CBC News.

(…)

Conservation officers now have to decide what to do about the bears, which might have to be destroyed because they have become too used to human food and contact, police said. – CBC News

Okay, so this still doesn’t really seem like a Barry Penner kind of story. But then I (or more accurately, a clever Barry Penner Superfan that send me an email) got to thinking… Barry Penner could just take care of the bears! Everyone knows he’s a friend to all animals, and who couldn’t use ten ferocious black bears to make sure the neighbourhood kids don’t steal your newspaper?

So I figured, this is theme week, so I may as well make the case for Barry Penner adopting the ten guard bears the only way I can: posting pictures of Barry Penner with terrifying animals! All this week: Barry Penner and his Animal Enforcers!

This may just look like a small pond, but Barry Penner has the ability to catch a record number of fish no matter how small the body of water is. You should have seen his haul from his neighbour’s kiddie pool.

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Barry Penner never talks about ‘the one that got away’. He catches EVERY fish EVERY time he goes out.

Then lets them go again. For The Environment’s sake.

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If you ask Barry Penner what he wants for dinner, you had better be prepared for the most well-presented and informative answer you will likely ever get.

And he’ll never answer chicken.

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Laugh it up while you can, John.  Barry Penner is going to be standing next to El Gordo soon enough…

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Barry Penner and El Gordo share a well-deserved congratulatory handshake.  I guess the joke was a hit after all!

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C’mon El Gordo, I know you’re the boss, but that doesn’t mean you get to show up to this dressy-suitjackety event wearing the same thing you wear to the golf course like a shlub.  Heck, even John Les put on a tie.

Of course, once again Barry Penner  hits the home run.

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