I think I’ve seen this episode. It’s the one where Barry Penner gets addicted to Vicodin and ends up solving a bizarre medical mystery thanks to a sudden burst of insight.

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LOOK OUT BARRY AND CHUCK! THERE’S SOME SORT OF TERRIBLE… Oh. Wait. Nevermind.

Uh… nice shirt, there, John…

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Of course, here is the best reason yet for Barry Penner to adopt the weed-watching bears: he already has a whole bunch of bears, why not add a few more? He’ll just keep them in this fenced off area that he calls The Environment.  Note: the area inside the fence is bigger than the area outside the fence. Much, much bigger.

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Why should Barry Penner adopt the 10 pot-protecting black bears? Because he’s already experienced in using wild animals to scare the crap out of people. Just look at their faces; you just know if you mess with The Environment, you are getting a hungry boa constrictor in your bed. And you’ll deserve it.

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Alright, so I said I’d be posting pictures of Barry Penner with terrifying animals, and I think we can all agree that animals don’t come any more terrifying than this. If Barry Penner can handle a t-shirt wearing 5′9″ bipedal moose with gigantic eyes that goes around promoting proper recycling habits, he can certainly handle ten black bears from the BC wilderness. Piece of cake. He won’t even have to call in his sidekick the Return-It Man to do the dirty work.

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But they also found about 10 bears that the owner appeared to be using to keep people from stealing any pot plants, said RCMP Sgt. Fred Mansveld.

“[Officers] soon noticed the bears were docile and tame,” Mansveld told CBC News.

(…)

Conservation officers now have to decide what to do about the bears, which might have to be destroyed because they have become too used to human food and contact, police said. – CBC News

Okay, so this still doesn’t really seem like a Barry Penner kind of story. But then I (or more accurately, a clever Barry Penner Superfan that send me an email) got to thinking… Barry Penner could just take care of the bears! Everyone knows he’s a friend to all animals, and who couldn’t use ten ferocious black bears to make sure the neighbourhood kids don’t steal your newspaper?

So I figured, this is theme week, so I may as well make the case for Barry Penner adopting the ten guard bears the only way I can: posting pictures of Barry Penner with terrifying animals! All this week: Barry Penner and his Animal Enforcers!

Barry Penner loves it when his plans come together.  This is not one of those times.

Somebody is in big trouble.

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Barry Penner’s famous helicopter tours seem to have really taken off.  There’s no better way to Minister The Environment than from 8000 feet in the air.

(Also, I apologize for the ‘taken off’ pun. )

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For some reason, nobody ever wants to see what’s in Barry Penner and John Yap’s darkened van.

C’mon! You know it’s gotta be awesome!

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Barry Penner and his good pal The Return-It Man are joined by a bipedal moose and a horde of BC Parks employees. Just another day in the life of Barry Penner.

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