By now I assume everyone has read the tale of Barry Penner’s Earth Hour adventures. For those of you that haven’t, here is a rundown: Barry Penner lit his cat on fire. There’s a bit more to the story than that, but nothing that makes any difference, really. Barry Penner, friend to all of The Environment, which includes animals, lit his cat (above, in bow tie) on fire. In his own words:

“We actually enjoyed a very romantic candlelit dinner that was only interrupted when our cat set himself on fire by brushing up against the flame, which caused some excitement,”

Suuuure, the cat set himself on fire. I know my cat does that all the time. It’s not like Barry Penner has a documented history of animosity with this animal. He was just trying to set the mood for a romantic evening with his wife, how was he supposed to know that the cat was flammable?

“It will be a night that we’ll remember for a long time.”

The moral of the story? Barry Penner is a man that knows that revenge is a dish best served on fire (like at one of those fancy restaurants), so don’t get on his bad side. You’ll get burned. And have to wear a goofy bow tie in the newspaper.

Side note: Alternate titles for this post included ‘Barry Penner’s Cat-dle Lit Dinner’, ‘Barry Penner’s Carbon Paw-Print’, and ‘Barry Penner in the Dining Room with the Candlestick’. You are welcome.

Side side note: Barry Penner’s Earth Hour Adventures was the original name of the Saturday morning cartoon that became Captain Planet and the Planeteers. True story.

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Barry Penner has strong words for all of you out there with more… unusual pets:

“Come April 1, if you have one of these alien species you could get a visit from a conservation officer or the police,” said Penner.

- Vancouver Sun

So look out, all of you nefarious alien-loving folks! Hide your tribbles, or face the wrath of Barry Penner!

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When the choice has to be made between people and bears, Barry Penner knows which one to go with.

“It’s been said a fed bear is a dead bear,” Penner said, noting the focus of efforts is to keep bears away from people and their garbage.

“We’re teaching people how to change their behavior so bears don’t get into trouble.”

[Kamloops Daily News]

See, why bother keeping bears away from people, when you can get the people to keep away from the bears. In all fairness, it is easier to teach a bunch of people than it is to train a bunch of bears.

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It’s not just water that British Columbians need to look out for, it’s the creepy crawlies and whatnot that float around and go hither and thither in the water. Barry Penner explains:

“Zebra and quagga mussels don’t respect international, state or provincial borders and pose a major threat to the B.C. environment,” said Penner.

Like little shelled terrorists. But don’t worry, Barry Penner has a plan!

“By signing on to the Columbia Basin Rapid Response Plan, we will now be informed immediately if a population of these mussels is detected within the Columbia River basin, and we will gain access to a high level of scientific and operational expertise in dealing with aquatic invasive species.”

[Keremeos Review]

I, for one, will sleep soundly tonight knowing that Barry Penner’s specially chosen Mussel Task Force is on the job, vigilantly protecting BC, nay, The Environment itself, from the major threat of quagga mussels. Quagga mussels, people!

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Barry Penner is a friend to all animals, but it seems that not all animals are friends of Barry Penner. Check out this exchange from an interview with The Minister:

What keeps you up at night?

In addition to my wife’s cat? There’s always lots more work that needs to be done. I’m often thinking about the challenge of climate change and, these days, the upcoming meeting in Copenhagen [December’s United Nations Climate Change summit] and what the world’s response to it will be. - BC Business


I feel your pain, Barry… I feel your pain.


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