Barry Penner listens politely as somebody explains about the local Environment. Of course, Barry Penner knows all about it already, but he doesn’t want to discourage anybody from following in his footsteps.

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Now what could possibly be in that sad-looking little cabin that would be worth standing in line for so long?

Of course, now it makes sense!  Who wouldn’t stand around in the rain for hours to get a chance to meet Barry Penner Himself and listen to him explain about Leading in… PROTECTING LAND or Leading by… LIVING WATER SMART?  I’m getting goosebumps just thinking about it!

You may even get a free pamphlet!

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The new ‘no phoning-while-driving’ law won’t be any problem for Barry Penner. He’s ready for it, you see:

Last year, my wife and I purchased a used hybrid-car that has a hands-free phone option built into the sound system. My cellphone also has a “speaker phone” mode so I can use it without holding the phone to my ear. – Chilliwack Times

See, he has a super high-tech phone with something called “speaker phone” mode. Incredible. I bet it even tells him who is calling and what time it is and all sorts of cool stuff like that.  Just wait until that becomes available to the general public. It’ll be like the Jetsons.

It’s also a nice of him to very subtly mention his car is a hybrid… just in case somebody has forgotten that he’s in charge of The Environment.

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NatureAmbush

Barry Penner is known to roam the trails of British Columbia, giving lectures to passing hikers on the Environment and other things of great importance. It’s a rare treat for the modern outdoorsman.

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kneeup

Barry Penner gives a quick lesson on how to pose for a great nature shot.

First, you find some Environment. A mountaintop or any sort of running water is ideal. It’s best if you can find some without an ugly building behind it, but sometimes you have to take what you can get.

Second, find something to get your leg up on.  A rock is good, a pier will do in a pinch, or even just standing a little weird so it LOOKS like your leg is on something. The important thing is to get your knee up. It looks more dynamic that way.

Next, find something waaaaaaaay off in the distance and point at it. This gives it a sense of mystery. What is Barry Penner pointing at while standing in a dynamic pose in front of some Environment? I certainly don’t know!

Finally, wear an orange vest. That’s so that people can see where you are.

Okay, now you try.

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