Feb 13
2010

Hey everyone! It’s time for the Olympics! I hope you got your tickets a while back, they aren’t exactly easy to come by, you know. Barry Penner may be going, but only under very specific circumstances:

Chilliwack-Hope MLA Barry Penner did not rule out attending the Olympics for free. But he said that if he does so, “It will be in my work capacity representing Chilliwack-Hope and the province of British Columbia.”
- Chilliwack Times

So, we’ll be seeing Barry Penner in the Olympic crowds then? It doesn’t matter if he’s catching some two-man luge or cross-country skiing, Barry Penner always represents Chilliwack-Hope. That’s why he’s the Barry Penner.

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Feb 6
2010

Barry Penner isn’t just concerned with the little bit of The Environment that is within the borders of beautiful British Columbia; he has the ability to muster the forces of governments everywhere to fight for The Environment as a whole. Check out his latest victory:

“This agreement demonstrates the strong partnership we have established with the State of California and California Air Resources Board,” said Penner. “In the face of uncertainty at international and national levels, we’ve been working across borders and uniting in action as a Province and a State to reduce greenhouse gas emissions and mitigate climate change.”

- CEPA

British Columbia and California teaming up to reduce greenhouse emissions? That’s like Batman and Superman teaming up to… reduce greenhouse gases! The only things that could possibly get in their way are… the states of Oregon and Washington. But really, who cares about those. Buncha hippies.

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Jan 31
2010

When the choice has to be made between people and bears, Barry Penner knows which one to go with.

“It’s been said a fed bear is a dead bear,” Penner said, noting the focus of efforts is to keep bears away from people and their garbage.

“We’re teaching people how to change their behavior so bears don’t get into trouble.”

[Kamloops Daily News]

See, why bother keeping bears away from people, when you can get the people to keep away from the bears. In all fairness, it is easier to teach a bunch of people than it is to train a bunch of bears.

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Jan 30
2010

Berry Penner isn’t just a pretty face, he’s also a thinker. Just look at all this thinking he did on the subject of a recent wind power project:

“Out of my own curiosity, I wondered how these would rank compared to other wind-power projects in Canada,” Penner said.

“In the case of Thunder Mountain, it would be almost 50-percent larger than Canada’s next-largest wind project, which is at Wolf Island near Kingston. That one, I think, is 190 megawatts all in.

“Thunder Mountain is proposed at 320 at this stage, and NaiKun would be even more than that.”

[Kelowna.com]

50 percent, 190, 320… so many numbers. That’s some pretty heavy-duty math right there. Ministerial-level math, even.

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Jan 23
2010

It’s not just water that British Columbians need to look out for, it’s the creepy crawlies and whatnot that float around and go hither and thither in the water. Barry Penner explains:

“Zebra and quagga mussels don’t respect international, state or provincial borders and pose a major threat to the B.C. environment,” said Penner.

Like little shelled terrorists. But don’t worry, Barry Penner has a plan!

“By signing on to the Columbia Basin Rapid Response Plan, we will now be informed immediately if a population of these mussels is detected within the Columbia River basin, and we will gain access to a high level of scientific and operational expertise in dealing with aquatic invasive species.”

[Keremeos Review]

I, for one, will sleep soundly tonight knowing that Barry Penner’s specially chosen Mussel Task Force is on the job, vigilantly protecting BC, nay, The Environment itself, from the major threat of quagga mussels. Quagga mussels, people!

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